A Holocaust Poem: We Do Not Understand

We Do Not Understand - Rabbi Jill Hausman April 2006


We do not understand
We cannot grasp six million dead
And if their names were said
Three months we would be standing here.
We are diminished by the hugeness
The intensity of hatred: of fires fanned
And we do not understand.

All, all was swept away
The lives, the way of life,
The scholars, pious ones
No sins could be that great, no faults so grave.
They could have; should have left, or could they?
Or was it planned?
And we do not understand.

The innocents who died: free of guilt and free of sin
The children, maidens, hardly had they lived;
Their cries, the trust betrayed
Reflected in their eyes.
Could You have made it one, or two perhaps,
But six? Why six? We cannot help demand,
And we do not understand

And did they die for something?
For our return to Zion?
Were they martyrs for rebirth?
Were they martyrs for the land?
Was their death ordained
By hand of God or hand of man?
And we do not understand.

And did You hide Your countenance?
You must have heard their prayers.
Were you busy with affairs
That we can’t even fathom?
And why were they expendable
So many grains of sand
And we do not understand.

But could it have been so much worse
And could we all have died;
Tiny miracles of persons saved
Of people still alive.
Did it finally stem from our free will
Man’s inhumanity to man?
And we do not understand.

Please remember to our merit
Or put it down to desperation
That we have not forsaken.
We are still here
We are still Jews, Am Yisrael chai.
Please, oh Please
O One Most High
Take us by the hand;
Be near us, comfort, teach us
For we do not understand.

The Economy and Religion: CBS Interview

Rabbi Jill appeared on CBS’s The Early Show on April 11th. These are CBS’s questions and her answers.

CBS: Unemployment numbers are out of control, people are losing their houses, their savings... Is religion more relevant in troubled times like these?

Rabbi Jill: Religion is vital in difficult times. Just as there are corrections in the market, so there are spiritual corrections. In Deuteronomy, Moses told the people that in good times they will forget about God and claim that they were the sole cause of their wealth. It is in tough times that people return to their relationship with the Divine Presence to renew it, which brings the flow of blessings back into their lives.

CBS: What are you telling people that have lost their jobs or homes to try and inspire them?

RJ: I tell them to do as many deeds of lovingkindness as they possibly can. I tell them that my teacher, Rabbi Gelberman, who is 97, teaches that rain and clouds are a sister to the sun. The clouds will disperse. The sun will shine again. The flow of Divine blessings is in their hands; if they spread light, light will come back into their lives. If they take this spiritual opportunity to deepen their connection to God, their lives will be enriched.

CBS: Do you find that people sometime lose faith in organized religion in times of despair?

RJ: Of course they do. But it is in times like these that they may also seek out a priest, minister, or rabbi to talk to and find that religion has answers that are unavailable elsewhere.

CBS: What's it like out there for all of you -- has attendance for your services risen or dwindled since the start of the recession?

RJ: It’s hard to tell, but I think attendance is about the same. What I notice is that more people are calling me to talk to them one on one.

CBS: What are some of the biggest concerns you're hearing from people at your Temple?

RJ: There are some who have lost jobs and are worried about being unable to pay their rent. They send out resumes but the jobs don’t seem to be out there right now. It’s a very difficult environment.

CBS: Newsweek magazine ran a poll about religion -- One of the results was that 68% of Americans say religion is losing it's influence in our society -- What do you think is the underlying cause of this statistic?

RJ: I think there is a very interesting phenomenon occurring. Religion was historically authoritative: people had to believe and do what the denomination of their religion prescribed. But now there is a movement to individualize religion, which actually results in a universalizing of religion. People are seeing that there is great truth and beauty in all religions and want the freedom to pick and choose from each religion that which speaks to them. So there is more respect for each of the religions and more people saying that they are spiritual but not religious. I can see in the far future that perhaps, eventually, the prophet Zechariah’s vision will come to pass: that God will be one and God’s name will be one.

CBS: The magazine also reported a rise in Americans who claim no religious at all affiliation up from 8% in 1990 to 15% today -- Are you all alarmed by these numbers?

RJ: What I say is that God calls in the exiles. The Divine Presence sends us experiences that contact our souls. God has it covered. It may be that one person will leave religion entirely, but their children will return. It’s in God’s hands.

CBS: Are you worried that these numbers will only get worse as time goes on?

RJ: Religion is the last taboo in our society. You can talk about sex. You can talk about violence. But if you talk about religion, people may think that you are a religious fanatic. Our scientific, acquisitive society does not support dialogue about religion as readily as it does other topics, but people will find a way to speak about what is important to them, hence the statement, “I’m spiritual but not religious.”

CBS: What do you see as the biggest threat to religion in today's world?

RJ: The worship of what the Torah or Bible calls false gods: money, sex, and power. That’s the way it has always been.

The Small Flame

This week’s Torah portion is Tzav, the second portion in the Book of Leviticus. Tzav means command. In this portion the major categories of sacrifice are continued from last week’s portion. We hear about the unleavened meal offering, the sin, and guilt offerings, and the offering of thanksgiving for good fortune and unexpected blessings. The beginning of the portion reads, “God spoke to Moses saying, command Aaron and his sons. This is the law of the elevation offering, to be on the flame on the altar all night until morning; and the fire on the altar should be kept aflame on it.” The word flame, mok-da is printed with a small letter, a smaller than usual mem, to begin the word. When there is a smaller or larger letter in the Torah text, which is rare, it is an invitation to have a closer look at the meaning of the verse, to see what it might be trying to say on a deeper level. The elevation offering was also called the burnt offering. Its purpose was to allow us to draw near to God by making a voluntary offering for in atonement for our human sins. The Baal Shem Tov said that the altar is the heart. The flame on this altar that should not go out is the inner spiritual fire about which the S’fat Emet says, “In the soul of every person there lies a hidden point that is aflame with love of God, a fire that cannot be put out.” This ecstatic impulse for God is not what we usually experience. Instead we often experience the small mem of the flame, the embers that are barely burning, which is our dissatisfaction. There is a lack that we feel, a hole in our hearts that nothing can permanently fill. Possessions don’t do it. Infatuation: falling in love; is a taste of spiritual ecstasy that quenches our longing temporarily, but infatuation is not permanent: it never lasts. The story of the Garden of Eden describes the feelings we have in the form of a parable: by exchanging ignorance for consciousness, we exiled ourselves from the state of nature where we were at one with all existence. Now, fully conscious; we are outside the Garden and have the feeling that we used to be smarter, we used to be happier, we used to have union with God. There is a vague feeling that something is missing. Dissatisfaction is a permanent part of the human condition, but far from being a punishment, it is a marvelous blessing, put there to lead us to re-union with the Divine Presence at a new level of synthesis. The small mem urges us forward toward God. King Solomon wrote about this. He had it all: hundreds of wives, untold possessions, fabulous wealth, kingly power. “Vanity of vanities,: he wrote. “All is vanity.” We can believe him because he experienced it all and he was the one person who really did know. “Have awe of God and keep the commandments,” he writes at the end of Ecclesiastes. King Solomon knew. The dissatisfaction is there in us to lead us to the ecstasy of spiritual fulfillment, the flame that burns continually on the altar of our hearts. It is the soul’s pure love of God. This spiritual fire, the sages said, burns the impurities of our souls, atones for sin, and finally turns our transgressions to merits (Yoma 86b). The desire for union, the spiritual fire, never goes out. It is part of our being. The low burning embers can be fanned into the warmth of God’s love and the light of true understanding, culminating in the joy of union and service. May our dissatisfactions melt before God’s healing power and be transmuted into unconditional love. May the love of our souls for God raise us up until we again feel reunited with the Oneness of all Being.