Spiritual Completion & How We Grow

This week’s Torah portion is Toldot, which means offspring. It tells of Isaac and Rebecca’s family and the birth of Rebecca’s twins. The first baby to be born was covered in red hair, so they named him Esau. Rashi says everyone called him Esau because he was fully made, completed. Esau comes from the verb ASA, to do or to make, and Esau was also a doer: a man of action. Jacob was born second, grasping Esau’s heel, and he was named Yaakov, heel or that which follows. The JPS commentary also links Yaakov to the Semitic word for protection, a plea for Divine shelter and blessing. The Torah gives a brief description of the two boys. About Esau it says, Esau became one who knows trapping, a man of the field. The description for Jacob reads, and Jacob was a quiet man, abiding in tents. Not all translations say quiet. Rashi says wholesome. The Women’s Torah commentary says homespun. Another translation is mild. But the Hebrew says, Tam. Tam literally means finished, perfect, complete whole, innocent, or simple. It is the same word used for the Simple Son in the section of the Passover Hagaddah that tells of the four children, or the four sons. The simple son is the one who is Tam: whole or complete. We can see that Jacob and Esau were very different, but that each was complete in his own way. Esau is physically complete and ready for action. Jacob’s completeness is more about inner resources, the ability to be quietly alone, to be a thinker, the ability to meditate, the ability to be in relationship with people and not only with things; but also he is a planner and a schemer. Neither boy had it all, but each was described as being complete. Their completeness brings us back to a verse in B’reisheet: “The heavens and the earth were finished and all their array. By the seventh day God completed the work which God had done, and abstained on the seventh day from all the work which God had done. God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because on it God abstained from all the work which God created to make.” The verb, to make, Laasot, is puzzling. The end of the quotation should say, that God Made. To make, points us into the future. From this our sages derive the principle of Shutfei Elohim, being in partnership with God. My teacher, Rabbi Gelberman expressed it this way: God said, nothing I do anymore will be done alone. From now on we will finish the work of creation together. And this is precisely the case for Jacob and Esau, and also for us. We are born perfect and complete, just as creation was perfect and complete after the sixth day of creation. But we are also incomplete. The S’fat Emet expresses this in another way: “All things are brought into being by God. But the point is hidden and we have to expand it. This depends upon the point within us, for the more we expand our own souls, the more God is revealed to us in every place.” We are meant to be a work in progress that we, ourselves are bringing to completeness with our Divine partner. Or rather, that God is bringing to completeness with us as a willing or unwilling partner. Jacob and Esau are again instructive. As young men, their lack of a trusting, loving relationship is obvious. Esau’s anger and hostility toward Jacob for stealing the blessing and Jacob’s scheming, manipulative nature, his willingness to trick his way through life and run away from his problems repulse us. But their actions should give us great hope. Who of us doesn’t cringe at things we have done when we were younger, or even last year? If Jacob and Esau can become holy, so can we. As middle aged men, in next week’s Torah portion, Jacob and Esau have left their infantile selves, having done the inner work that allows them to express their love for each other and to see Divinity in each other’s faces, reestablishing their deep bond of understanding and caring for each other. We, too, are being led on a path of spiritual growth and development. Just as we have an innate program of physical development that unfold in our bodies, so we have an innate program of spiritual development that unfold in our souls. The events of our lives, our choices, and our feelings about our choices and those events are the engine which propels our growth. Each experience is an opportunity or test for us to choose with love, caring, and generosity. Each choice comes with the feedback of our feelings about how we have used the gift of free will. This is the creation of new Torah within us every day. This is how God communicates with us. Each new day is an opportunity to triumph over our yesterday’s selves. We may lose the contest numerous times before we are ready to advance. But we will surely advance, for we are being led by the Eternal One toward perfection, wholeness and the spiritual simplicity of pure love. Flawed as we are, Jacob and Esau teach us that each of us can attain great spiritual heights. Our sages said, “The offspring of the righteous are good deeds.” May we participate eagerly and fully in our growth toward righteousness, and may all our choices be deeds and words and thoughts of holiness and love.

Chaye Sara: The Life of Rebecca

This week’s Torah portion, Caye Sara, the life of Sara, is named after our first matriarch; but really centers on the life of Rebecca, Rivka, the second matriarch. Sara dies and Abraham buys the Cave of Machpeleh in order to bury Sara. Then Abraham sends his head servant back to his family in Mesopotamia to select a wife for Isaac. The servant, Eliezer, prays to God that, when he asks a maiden for a drink, the girl who says to him, Drink and I will even draw water for your camels, will be the one who has been Divinely chosen to the be the right bride for Isaac. He is not even finished praying this prayer to God when Rebecca appears and says those exact words. The servant is amazed, caught in a coincidence that he knows is supernatural.
Last week I spoke about Abraham’s kindness and willingness to give, and how the giving and receiving of love is the model for all receiving and giving in the Universe. Abraham’s kindness was demonstrated again and again by his actions. Here we see in Rebecca the same qualities. There is very little in the Rabbinic commentary about Rebecca. I always felt a little embarrassed about Rebecca. One of the few complimentary things I found about her is from the Zohar (I:50a), which says,“For when a man is at home, the foundation of his house is the wife, for it is on account of her that the Shekinah departs not from the house. So our teachers have understood the verse, “and he brought her to the tent of his mother Sarah” (Gen. 24: 67), to indicate that with Rebecca the Shekinah came to Isaac's house.” Perhaps my talk tonight might be titled, A Tribute to Rebecca. Her actions show that she was young and energetic; kind and generous. The text says three times that, like Abraham, she hurried to help. She ran to the spring and kept running to draw water until all the camels had enough to drink. The servant gives her gifts and inquires whether he and his entourage may spend the night. She answers that there is room and plentiful feed for the camels at home. Like Abraham, she is one who offers hospitality. Eliezer has arrived to find almost a second Abraham. The similarities do not stop there. Eliezer asks her family for Rebecca’s hand in marriage for Isaac. They agree. The next morning Eliezer asks to leave with Rebecca and her family asks him to remain ten months to a year. But Eliezer wants to leave immediately. Thank God for the history of women that Rebecca’s family asks her permission before they send her off. They ask, “Will you go with this man?” She says, without any hesitation, “I will go.” This parallel’s Abraham’s leaving his homeland when he received God’s call, without any indecision or questioning. Their ability to seize opportunity, resulted for both of them, in their receiving undreamed of spiritual and material gifts. Rebecca’s plucky optimism, trust, adventurous nature, and her willingness to say “Yes” to life, betting on a happy future; shows that she is Abraham’s spiritual heir, as well as his biological heir. She is, in fact, his Grand-niece.
It is Rebecca who, in next week’s portion, inquires of God about the twins jostling inside her and receives a response, making her a prophetess. It is also Rebecca who is the cause of Jacob’s stealing the blessing, taking the responsibility upon herself, but thereby insuring the spiritual legacy and continuation of Judaism. Perhaps she used the only weapons a woman had in that society, not direct confrontation, but indirect, yet decisive, action. And speaking of action, like Abraham, who went to rescue Lot, Rebecca rescues Jacob twice. She takes the blame upon herself, instructing him to lie to his Father. Then, by subsequently sending Jacob off to find a wife with her family in Mesopotamia, she further insures his survival and the continuation of their line. Sending him to her family resulted in Jacob’s 12 sons becoming the 12 tribes of Israel. Not that lying and deceiving are to be condoned. Quite the contrary: but we should remember that Abraham did it too. We are told he lied twice. Perhaps it’s a case of us giving God lemons and God making lemonade, for these actions all resulted in mostly positive outcomes.
Rebecca is our first convert: like Abraham, a person of courage and generosity, kindness, action, optimism and faith. She was wise in her choices and visionary in her actions. Perhaps we should speak about Abraham, Rebecca, and Jacob when we mention our Patriarchs, for she deserves our admiration and gratitude, not only for our continuation but also for the quality of our spiritual legacy. Rabbi Nachman of Breslau famously said, “A person walks in life on a very narrow bridge. The most important thing is not to be afraid.” And Rabbi Gelberman’s book Spiritual Truths says this too: “When we expect good we are sensitive to all its signposts. We do not miss the boat!” Rebecca’s fearlessness as she looked into the face of the unknown, her willingness to help, her taking a stand for what she knew was right, no matter the consequences, her strength, and her faith in God, make her someone we can look up to. May an appreciation of her life help us to let go of the fears that keep us from finding and experiencing our own blessings. May we confront life as she did, having faith in the goodness of life, with optimism for the future; and giving of ourselves, that we may be a blessing to others and receive all the good that is surely coming to us.