The Education of a Son

This week’s Torah portion is Vayetze, which means, and he went. Jacob, who had tricked his Father and stolen Esau’s blessing is travelling to Haran, sent away by his parents to avoid Esau’s rage and to find a wife with his Uncle Laban. He dreams of a ladder reaching to heaven with angels ascending and descending on it. God promises to be with him and return him to the land of Canaan, informing him that it will be given it to him and his descendants. He arrives at Haran, sees Rachel, and fall in love with her immediately. He is welcomed with open arms by her Father, Laban, who says to him, “Nevertheless, you are my bone and flesh.” (Gen. 29:14)

It seems like a puzzling statement, as if Laban is not happy to see him, until we consider the last visit of Jacob’s family to Haran. When Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, he sent camels, servants, gold jewelry, and presents for Laban’s family and the new bride. Jacob arrives with only his own two feet; and Laban puts him right to work. Jacob asks to marry Rachel and agrees to work for seven years as the bride price, which was customary in those days. This turn of events is very interesting if we consider Jacob’s Father Isaac’s words to him in the previous portion.

Isaac has just been tricked by Jacob and his own wife, Rebecca, into giving the blessing of the firstborn to Jacob, when it was intended for Isaac. Isaac seems to forgive Jacob, sending him off with a blessing, instructing him to go to Laban and find a wife there. Isaac says, “May El Shaddai bless you, make you fruitful, and make you numerous, and may you be a congregation of peoples. May God grant you the blessing of Abraham, to you and to your offspring with you, that you may possess the land of your sojourns which God gave to Abraham. (Gen. 28:3-4) Apparently, Isaac has forgiven Jacob, but the old man has yet some tricks up his sleeve.

He seemingly goes with the flow, accepting what has been done to him with grace and no bitterness, not bearing a grudge and not taking revenge, which is a teaching for us. Allowing and accepting what is happening is great wisdom. And in addition, Isaac possesses even a deeper wisdom, sending Jacob off to learn the hard lessons of real life, similarly to what God did for Cain, after Cain killed Abel; sending him off to learn and grow. Isaac, who had his very difficult and life changing experience when Abraham nearly sacrificed him, in which he came face to face with God’s Presence, is preparing his son without anger, hatred, or resentment added. And this is where another teaching lies. We are all in Life University, God’s sacred University, undergoing trials and triumphs to teach us and to elevate us. We have some elective courses in this University, but also, some difficult courses are required. Our task is to allow and accept what happens, doing our best to find a way to learn and elevate ourselves as we study, as we live life.

Many people underestimate Isaac. Here, he knows just what Jacob needs in life. He sees Jacob for who he is: someone who is not above lying and scheming, yet he loves him and wants the very best for him. Acceptance plus love are two powerful allies. The first makes our lives so much less stressful. It is a product of faith and trust. The second, love, enriches us and all life immeasurably. May these allies: acceptance and love, guide us, that we, like Isaac, may attain what Moses called, a heart of wisdom.