Approaching Ourselves

This week’s torah portion is Vayigash, which means, and he approached. Judah, the fourth son of Jacob, approaches Joseph, Viceroy of Egypt, to plead for his youngest brother, Benjamin; and to ask to be enslaved in place of Benjamin. Benjamin has been wrongly accused of stealing Joseph’s silver cup. When Joseph learns that his brothers love and support Benjamin, Joseph reveals his identity to them and forgives them. He then arranges to bring his father and his brothers’ families to Egypt so that they will be sustained during the continuing famine. The Torah states, “Then Judah approached him and said, Bi Adoni, if you please my Lord.” Judah then makes a heartfelt speech to Joseph in which, as the scholar Nechama Leibowitz points out, the word father is used 14 times in 17 verses. Judah’s speech arouses Joseph’s compassion, culminating in, what for the brothers, was a miraculous redemption and a complete reversal of their perilous situation. What are the dynamics that allowed this transformation to occur? The S’fat Emet comments that Bi Adoni, please my Lord, also means God is within me. He goes on to explain that when Judah approached, he was approaching Joseph, himself, and also God. This teaching is an opening for us into a new possibility. We know that we have been told that our souls are from God, the Divinity within each one of us; and yet it’s so hard to live out of that reality. We have defenses that we learned how to use to protect ourselves when we were growing: defenses for the family, for school, for friends, for work. And these defenses can become our persona, the face others see and the face we see ourselves as representing. But there is a deeper personality with which Judah approached Joseph; a personality that was revealed when all of Judah’s defenses were useless, when anger, indignation, and confrontation, the walls that separate us as people, fell away. It was in that moment of vulnerability that Joseph’s compassion was stirred. Joseph identified with the humanity of his brother. Buy negating himself and his defenses, Judah allowed his soul to shine forth and affect everyone around him. By opening himself he opened the gates to the flow of Divine blessings.
When there is a difficult situation in life, there are many ways to relate to it. When there is a difficult relationship it is easy to react automatically with customary defenses. The secret of Oneness, Bi Adoni, God is within me, shows another way, which is seeking wholeness and finding the lost treasure of our souls. By negating our defenses and our ego, which is the false persona, we allow our true and whole selves to emerge. Having the courage in adulthood to unlearn and let go of customary defenses allows inner wisdom and Divine guidance to become available because they were there all along. In interacting with another person we can create the space of Divinity for each other by opening our hearts in self negation; becoming less, in order to expand into the More of who we really are. This is Martin Buber’s I-Thou relationship of two Divine entities coming together, recognizing each other, and creating understanding. In this New Year, may we truly touch each other, having the courage to be more than we think we are; showing our true selves, our radiance, our love, and our inner Divinity.