Beyond Hospitality

This week’s Torah portion is Vayera, which means, and God appeared. It is packed with events: Abraham’s welcoming of three travelers, who announce the birth of Isaac; Abraham’s questioning God about whether any righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah will be saved; Lot receiving the Angels who save him and his family, when Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed; the birth of Isaac; the sending away of Hagar and Ishmael, and finally, the test of Abraham in which he is asked to offer Isaac as a sacrifice. This portion begins: And God appeared to him in the plains of Mamre; while he sat at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day; And he lifted his eyes and saw, and three men stood by him; he perceived so, he ran toward them from the tent entrance, and bowed toward the ground; And said, My Lord, if I have found favor in your sight, pass not away, I pray, from your servant; Let a little water, be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree; And I will fetch a morsel of bread, that you may sustain your hearts; after that you shall pass on; seeing that you are come to your servant. And they said, do so, as you have said.
Several things are notable in this first section. Abraham ran eagerly to the men, then bowed deeply to them, calling one, My Lord. Torah commentary for this section always speaks about hospitality, how welcoming Abraham was. At this time, and even through the middle ages, there were no restaurants and few inns; and it was a matter of human survival and a universal law that one had to take a traveler in; feed that person, and keep even one’s enemy overnight and up to three nights, because their survival depended on it, and your survival might depend upon it tomorrow. Abraham not only welcomed the travelers, but attended to them as a servant would, seeing to their comfort and giving them his best foods. He honored the Godliness in them, treating them as he himself would have wanted to be treated. This portion then, begins with the theme of how we treat others. We sense our own inner royalty and are disappointed or even offended when others do not treat us with honor and respect. To act at every moment in such a way that we honor the royalty in others is the mark of a very high spiritual level. Based on the Mussar literature, Rabbi Zvi Miller writes, “Abraham’s ability to treat people like royalty reflected his profound understanding of the world.” But it is so easy for us to forget and even easier to deny the spark of God in others. Our sages say that certain people cannot enter the kingdom of heaven; and among those are scoffers: those who discount other human beings and treat them badly.
Lot, too, is seen as offering hospitality in this portion. Lot urges the men who come to him, to stay the night with him in his home and eat a meal there, knowing that the townspeople of Sodom will brutalize them if he does not shield them. But Lot shows a moral failing, offering his virgin daughters to the mob, in place of the travelers. The society Lot lived in was corrupt; out of balance, devoid of moral kindness, and Lot had absorbed some of its disregard for human decency; because it does not matter who we treat badly. As long as someone is mistreated, whether or not, like Lot, we have an excuse for our behavior, we ourselves are pulled out of balance. We transgress a law of the universe that we are all equal and part of each other. And this theme is continued in the portion, with the treatment of Hagar and Ishmael. Their banishment and the divisions it caused still are being played out today.
If we could act as though we believed that there is Godliness in each of us, we would never be able to treat each other the way we do. Rashi discusses Abraham’s use of the term My Lord. He asks whether Abraham was addressing the men politely or whether Abraham was addressing God. But in reality, every time we address another human being, we are addressing God. Abraham’s willingness to attend to the comfort of the travelers showed where his passions were directed: not to satisfying his own desires, but to serving. He found the greatest satisfaction in being of service to others, never putting himself above them, but imagining himself in their place with empathy. The very first words of the portion, God appeared to him, points to the intent of the story of Abraham and the travelers. Whenever we behold the true face of another, the intrinsic holiness of that person, God appears to us. Or rather, we bring forth the appearance of God when we honor another human being. It reminds me of the story about Rebbe Moshe Lieb of Sassov, retold by Elie Wiesel. “I saw two drunkards sitting in an inn drinking and drinking, silently. But from time to time they would stop for a brief exchange. Are you my friend Alexei, asked the younger one. Do you love me? Yes, Ivan, I do. I am your friend. They emptied another glass and dreamed their separate dreams in silence. Again the younger peasant said, Alexei, Alexei, are you really my friend? Do you truly love me, Yes, I am your friend, he said. After Ivan’s asking and asking, finally Alexei got angry. How many times must I tell you, Ivan that I am your friend? Don’t you believe me? Must I go on repeating it all night? At that point Ivan looked at Alexi and shook his head sadly. Alexei, Alexei, he said. If you are my friend, if you do love me, then why don’t you know what I need? Why don’t you know what is hurting me?” A society is known for the way it treats all its members, not just the wealthy, the powerful, or the famous; and we, like Abraham, are known for how we interact with others. Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of how the people treated each other. May we spur ourselves to greater consciousness in our interactions with others, being willing to intuit their needs and find holiness in honoring them. May we not forget their Godliness when we speak to them. May we remember that we are each created with the spark of the Divine, and act to honor our own inner royalty by the honor we give to the spark of the Divine in each and every person we meet.