Leah, Our Mother

This week’s Torah portion,Vayetze,means and he left. Jacob leaves his parents and brother Esau, to evade Esau’s rage after Jacob stole the blessing from him. He also leaves to find a wife from his mother’s family in Haran. On his journey, he dreams of a ladder with angels going up and down on it. God speaks to him in his dream and promises to be with him, to guard him, and to return him to Canaan where he will have many offspring and inherit the land. He arrives in Mesopotamia, falls in love with Rachel, the younger daughter of Laban, and works for Laban 7 years, for Rachel, since he had arrived in Haran without a dowry. When the 7 years are completed, he tells Laban, “deliver my wife for I have fulfilled my term.” Laban makes a wedding feast and gives him Leah instead of Rachel. In the morning Jacob is outraged and confronts Laban, who promises Rachel to him after one week of marriage to Leah, on condition that he work another 7 years. In this story we are so caught up with Jacob, Laban, and Rachel that Leah becomes lost. In Torah commentary, we hardly hear anything about Leah. Who was she and what does she have to teach us? The Torah says, in the Rashi translation, “Leah‘s eyes were tender, while Rachel was beautiful of form and beautiful of appearance.” Here we have the ugly older sister, the beautiful younger sister, and the scheming father. What would Laban have had to do to make his deception work? He would have threatened Leah and Rachel. In a patriarchal society women have no power. But in this society, it was even worse: they had no access to food, shelter, or even livelihood outside the family unit. Their undervalued feminine selves were necessary for procreation and childcare, and not much more. Self Esteem? How could there be very much? What was there for a woman but marriage and children? Leah knew her prospects were slim to nonexistent. So she went along with her father’s command, which may even have been: Don’t tell or I’ll kill you. So Leah and Rachel chose life. Another translation of Leah’s eyes is: Leah’s eyes were not tender but weak. One midrash says, weak from crying. In either case, there was a compassion there, the willingness to go along with where events took her, hoping for an outcome that would eventually be better than what she had. Unlike Rachel’s her beauty was internal. How did she feel as she impersonated Rachel, under the chuppah and later in the bridal chamber, on what was supposed to be a happy day in her life? How filled with self hated, fear, and also desperation must she have been. How sad, on her wedding night, knowing how angry her new husband would be at her, in the morning. No love from a parent, no love from her husband, no love from her sister. But God saw her compassionate nature and God knew her suffering. She was blessed with sons, while Rachel had none. She named her children meaningfully. Reuben means, look, a son, meaning, God has seen. Simeon, God has heard, Levi, now my husband will be attached to me, and Judah, praise God. Leah seems to have become a monotheist, unlike Rachel, who even 20 years after having met Jacob, steals her father’s idols to take them with her on her journey to Canaan. Perhaps Leah took on Jacob’s religion in order to be closer to him, and actually found an authentic relationship with the One God.
Desperately wanting Jacob’s love, Leah uses her children to try to gain it. It is only at the birth of her 4th child that she allows her relationship with God to fill some of the void in her heart. She is still not the preferred wife. The Torah calls her unloved in some translations, but really the Hebrew text says hated. Jacob hated her, we are told, but she was healed by God and the love of her children. Much later, Reuben finds mandrake roots in the field. Rachel, who is still childless, desires them for fertility. Leah says, “was your taking my husband insignificant, and now to take even my son’s mandrakes?” She and Rachel strike a bargain. Jacob will be with Leah that night in exchange for the mandrakes. The roots Rachel wanted produced results: Rachel conceived, perhaps even because of making peace with Leah, but also, Leah has 3 more children: Issachar, Zebulun, and Dinah. Her seven children plus the two from her servant Zilpah gave her the full life she craved. She was never beloved by Jacob that we know of, but she was beloved by God through the great blessings sent to her. Her willingness to persevere through hardship, offering herself without complaining, creating blessing for those around her and herself, make her the ideal Matriarch from which most of us are descended. Her 4th son, Judah is the name we call ourselves. We are Jews from Judah: from the same root as Todah, and Modim, giving thanks. As we give thanks to the Holy One on this Thanksgiving weekend, may we also be grateful for Leah, who gave thanks to the Eternal for the blessings she received. She was deeply grateful to be one who creates more life, and was ultimately satisfied with the blessings she received. May each of us be truly grateful for all our blessings, and also for Leah, our compassionate, loving, life giving Mother.