This week’s Torah portion is Toldot, which means generations. It tells of the birth of the twins, Esau and Jacob to their parents, Rebecca and Isaac. Jacob persuades Esau to sell him his birthright, the right of inheritance of the firstborn. There is also a section about Isaac’s servants re-digging the wells of his father, Abraham, and of making peace with the local chieftain; and then there is the well-known story of how Rebecca and Jacob trick Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing of the firstborn, after which Jacob has to leave home to escape his brother’s anger.
It is interesting that there is so much conflict in this portion, and that it seems to revolve around food; and interesting coincidence that we read this portion before Thanksgiving. To obtain food when he is hungry and exhausted, Esau sells his birthright of the firstborn. Later, Isaac asks Esau to make him a meal of the game he will catch, after which Isaac will give Esau a blessing. Love and food seem to get all mixed up in this portion. In some families, like Jacob and Esau’s family, there is seemingly not enough love to go around. Esau’s heart rending cry, “Have you not reserved a blessing for me?...Is there only one blessing? Bless me too, Father!” (Gen. 27:36, 38) touches us deeply.
The orientation of scarcity in life is something that, spiritually speaking, is really not true. The more we love, the more we mint the spiritual currency of the world, and the more love there is. This is true for most physical things as well. Even money flows according to our deeds and to Divine law. A scarcity of love, of blessing in Isaac & Rebecca’s family, comes because of favoritism, judging and controlling, which we also engage in concerning family members. The family is where we are known at our best and at our worst, and where we think we know each other. But are we really good judges of each other; and are we here to judge?
Our task on earth is really not to judge or control, but to accept and help each other. This is the essence of what a family is all about. When we can accept each other with all our faults and strengths, and actually love each other, scarcity disappears. Lovers happily share even a small bed. And the Torah teaches us in the book of Numbers, at the end of Chukat, that when we cooperate, there is more for everyone.
In the Middle East, the center of religion, sadly, none of the leaders seems to have read this in the Holy Books. At the end of this portion, both Jacob and Esau receive a blessing. The Chassidic master, the Vorker Rebbe taught, “No matter what one’s station, one can obtain a blessing.” (Soul of the Torah, P. 43) At this holiday time, may we accept, help, and not judge each other. May we express our love and thereby, receive many, many blessings.
Showing posts with label Toldot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toldot. Show all posts
Friday, February 13, 2015
Friday, November 8, 2013
Unconditional Love
This week’s Torah portion is Toldot, which means generations. It tells of the birth of the twins, Esau and Jacob to their parents, Rebecca and Isaac. Jacob pursuaded Esau to sell him his birthright, the right of inheritance of the firstborn. There is also a section about Isaac’s servants re-digging the wells of his father, Abraham, and of making peace with the local chieftain; and then there is the well-known story of how Rebecca and Jacob trick Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing of the firstborn, after which Jacob has to leave home to escape his brother’s anger.
Rebecca and Isaac initially had no children. Isaac had been an older groom, she a younger bride. They yearned for children and waited so long, until their prayers were answered with the great blessing of fraternal twins. Esau was born first, a redhead with lots of hair. Jacob, with little hair, was born second. Right from the start, Jacob was a very different person from Esau. The Torah says, “The lads grew up and Esau became a man who knows trapping, a man of the field. But Jacob was a homespun man, abiding in tents. Isaac loved Esau, for game was in his mouth, but Rebecca loved Jacob.” Esau was an active person, a lover of the outdoors, hunting, and physical pursuits. Jacob was quieter: more of a mama’s boy, content to be at home, inside, someone who would rather talk than do; a feelings person who formed a strong bond with his mother. We know how destructive it is when each parent has a favorite, and I’ve spoken on this topic before. We can also look at what the Torah says about the quality of the two relationships, of parent to child and what we can learn from them.
Isaac, we are told, loved Esau because he brought him delicious food. Rashi quotes the translation of Onkelos who said, “Because he would eat of his trapping.” Perhaps Isaac also admired Esau, as the commentators have said, because he possessed the qualities that Isaac lacked: physicality, decisiveness, and energy. Or perhaps he admired Esau, the man of action, in contrast to his inaction at the akedah, when he thought he would be sacrificed. We are not told why Rebecca loved Jacob, but perhaps we can author a midrash to fill in the gaps; to explain how Jacob became Rebecca’s confidante, best friend, and constant companion. Isaac, so many years her senior, may have become remote. Perhaps she forgot her loneliness during the long afternoons of conversation with her younger son. In Pirkei Avot it says, {Mishnah V:16 [V:19 in Hirsch Translation]) “All love that depends on a [TRANSIENT] thing or physical cause will pass away when the cause is no longer there, but the love that is not dependent on a cause will never pass away. Which is the love that depends on a cause? The love of Amnon for Tamar; and which is the love that does not depend on a [TRANSIENT] cause? The love of David and Jonathan.”
As a parent, ideally, we should fill the role of God, loving each child for all of himself: applauding their strengths and supporting them to become strong, independent, happy adults. But so often, whether with children or even with our friends and other family members, our own needs can overshadow the ideal, unconditional love that we are capable of giving to each other. In the book, 20th Century Jewish Religious Thought, in the chapter on Love, Steven Harvey quotes Abravanel’s commentary on “Love your neighbor as yourself,” “Just as you love yourself not for pleasure or benefit, so should you have no ulterior motive for loving your neighbor.” This is also the main topic of Martin Buber’s famous work, I and Thou. He writes, “This…is the sublime melancholy of our lot, that every You must become an It in our world…as soon as the direct relationship has run its course or is permeated by means, the You becomes an object among objects, possibly the noblest one and yet one of them, assigned its measure and boundary…Every you in the world is doomed by its nature to become a thing or at least to enter thinghood again and again…The It is the chrysalis; the You the butterfly.”
Perhaps only God is capable of giving continual, unselfish, unconditional love. The commandment to love your neighbor as yourself is a worthy goal that we will probably never reach; yet we can look at our motives clearly, seeing when our need to take is greater than our desire to give. Rabbi Gelberman has written about the necessity of loving a person the way that person wants to receive it, not the way we want to give it, thus serving the person’s needs and not our own. May we love less selfishly and more unconditionally, walking in God’s ways, emulating the great love God has for us, and giving of ourselves generously to each other. May we be more open to each other, less withholding of our love, and more universal in bestowing it, being more God-like and more human at the same time.
Rebecca and Isaac initially had no children. Isaac had been an older groom, she a younger bride. They yearned for children and waited so long, until their prayers were answered with the great blessing of fraternal twins. Esau was born first, a redhead with lots of hair. Jacob, with little hair, was born second. Right from the start, Jacob was a very different person from Esau. The Torah says, “The lads grew up and Esau became a man who knows trapping, a man of the field. But Jacob was a homespun man, abiding in tents. Isaac loved Esau, for game was in his mouth, but Rebecca loved Jacob.” Esau was an active person, a lover of the outdoors, hunting, and physical pursuits. Jacob was quieter: more of a mama’s boy, content to be at home, inside, someone who would rather talk than do; a feelings person who formed a strong bond with his mother. We know how destructive it is when each parent has a favorite, and I’ve spoken on this topic before. We can also look at what the Torah says about the quality of the two relationships, of parent to child and what we can learn from them.
Isaac, we are told, loved Esau because he brought him delicious food. Rashi quotes the translation of Onkelos who said, “Because he would eat of his trapping.” Perhaps Isaac also admired Esau, as the commentators have said, because he possessed the qualities that Isaac lacked: physicality, decisiveness, and energy. Or perhaps he admired Esau, the man of action, in contrast to his inaction at the akedah, when he thought he would be sacrificed. We are not told why Rebecca loved Jacob, but perhaps we can author a midrash to fill in the gaps; to explain how Jacob became Rebecca’s confidante, best friend, and constant companion. Isaac, so many years her senior, may have become remote. Perhaps she forgot her loneliness during the long afternoons of conversation with her younger son. In Pirkei Avot it says, {Mishnah V:16 [V:19 in Hirsch Translation]) “All love that depends on a [TRANSIENT] thing or physical cause will pass away when the cause is no longer there, but the love that is not dependent on a cause will never pass away. Which is the love that depends on a cause? The love of Amnon for Tamar; and which is the love that does not depend on a [TRANSIENT] cause? The love of David and Jonathan.”
As a parent, ideally, we should fill the role of God, loving each child for all of himself: applauding their strengths and supporting them to become strong, independent, happy adults. But so often, whether with children or even with our friends and other family members, our own needs can overshadow the ideal, unconditional love that we are capable of giving to each other. In the book, 20th Century Jewish Religious Thought, in the chapter on Love, Steven Harvey quotes Abravanel’s commentary on “Love your neighbor as yourself,” “Just as you love yourself not for pleasure or benefit, so should you have no ulterior motive for loving your neighbor.” This is also the main topic of Martin Buber’s famous work, I and Thou. He writes, “This…is the sublime melancholy of our lot, that every You must become an It in our world…as soon as the direct relationship has run its course or is permeated by means, the You becomes an object among objects, possibly the noblest one and yet one of them, assigned its measure and boundary…Every you in the world is doomed by its nature to become a thing or at least to enter thinghood again and again…The It is the chrysalis; the You the butterfly.”
Perhaps only God is capable of giving continual, unselfish, unconditional love. The commandment to love your neighbor as yourself is a worthy goal that we will probably never reach; yet we can look at our motives clearly, seeing when our need to take is greater than our desire to give. Rabbi Gelberman has written about the necessity of loving a person the way that person wants to receive it, not the way we want to give it, thus serving the person’s needs and not our own. May we love less selfishly and more unconditionally, walking in God’s ways, emulating the great love God has for us, and giving of ourselves generously to each other. May we be more open to each other, less withholding of our love, and more universal in bestowing it, being more God-like and more human at the same time.
Friday, December 28, 2012
A Work in Progress
This week’s Torah portion is Toldot, which means offspring or generations. It tells of Isaac and Rebecca’s family and the birth of Rebecca’s twins, Jacob and Esau; there is Esau’s selling his birthright to Jacob, Isaac digging wells of water, God renewing the promises of many descendants and the land to Isaac, and Jacob’s stealing the blessing of his father, meant for Esau. Esau was born first, covered in red hair. The name Esau comes from the verb ASA, to do or to make, and Esau was also a do-er: a man of action. Rashi said everyone called him Esau because he was fully made, completed. He was done.
Jacob was born second, grasping Esau’s heel, and he was named Yaakov, heel, or that which follows. The Torah gives a brief description of the two boys: Esau became one who knows trapping, a man of the field; and Jacob was a quiet man, abiding in tents. Not all translations say quiet. Rashi says wholesome. Another translation is mild. But the Hebrew says, Tam. Tam literally means finished, perfect, complete whole, innocent, or simple. It is the same word used for the Simple Son in the section of the Passover Hagaddah that tells of the four children, or historically, the four sons. We can see that Jacob and Esau were very different, but that each was complete in his own way. In a sense, they make up complete person when their attributes are combined: the outer qualities of Esau and the inner qualities of Jacob.
This is what makes Jacob so much more interesting than Esau. Jacob is far from perfect: he schemes, he cheats, he lies, he tricks, he steals. There are depths to Jacob. Esau may be finished, but Jacob, like us, is perfectable. Jacob had all the inner resources he needed to become a holy person. And that he actually gets there should give us great hope for ourselves. What sets Jacob so far above Esau is that he is willing to grow. The S’fat Emet comments on a later verse in this portion: “And Isaac’s servants dug in the valley and found living waters (Gen. 26:19).” He says that “the Torah is called water because it’s found everywhere; and as is true with seeking water, it depends on how deep one wishes to dig, and how sincerely one wants to have Torah.”
Jacob was always trying to catch up with his slightly older brother. He shows his desire to overcome his younger brother status, but also his deep desire to be a leader, when he impersonates Esau to receive the blessing of the firstborn; his desire to be a person of goodness when he dreams of the ladder reaching to heaven and vows to give to charity and establish a house of God, and finally a desire to be a blessing when he wrestles with the angel and leaves behind the deceptive nature he no longer needs. Jacob’s striving to best Esau never stopped. His inner growth allows Jacob finally to surpass his brother.
We are all meant to be a work in progress. We are never finished. Our desire to grow and to rise toward holiness and our willing-ness to do the inner work we need to do will determine how far we can travel along the road that leads to the Divine. As Jacob found out, we are not alone on this journey. We receive help and support along God’s path. May we know that we have been given great spiritual potential for goodness and for Godliness, and may we strive like Jacob, to use these gifts, by being willing to learn and willing to grow.
Jacob was born second, grasping Esau’s heel, and he was named Yaakov, heel, or that which follows. The Torah gives a brief description of the two boys: Esau became one who knows trapping, a man of the field; and Jacob was a quiet man, abiding in tents. Not all translations say quiet. Rashi says wholesome. Another translation is mild. But the Hebrew says, Tam. Tam literally means finished, perfect, complete whole, innocent, or simple. It is the same word used for the Simple Son in the section of the Passover Hagaddah that tells of the four children, or historically, the four sons. We can see that Jacob and Esau were very different, but that each was complete in his own way. In a sense, they make up complete person when their attributes are combined: the outer qualities of Esau and the inner qualities of Jacob.
This is what makes Jacob so much more interesting than Esau. Jacob is far from perfect: he schemes, he cheats, he lies, he tricks, he steals. There are depths to Jacob. Esau may be finished, but Jacob, like us, is perfectable. Jacob had all the inner resources he needed to become a holy person. And that he actually gets there should give us great hope for ourselves. What sets Jacob so far above Esau is that he is willing to grow. The S’fat Emet comments on a later verse in this portion: “And Isaac’s servants dug in the valley and found living waters (Gen. 26:19).” He says that “the Torah is called water because it’s found everywhere; and as is true with seeking water, it depends on how deep one wishes to dig, and how sincerely one wants to have Torah.”
Jacob was always trying to catch up with his slightly older brother. He shows his desire to overcome his younger brother status, but also his deep desire to be a leader, when he impersonates Esau to receive the blessing of the firstborn; his desire to be a person of goodness when he dreams of the ladder reaching to heaven and vows to give to charity and establish a house of God, and finally a desire to be a blessing when he wrestles with the angel and leaves behind the deceptive nature he no longer needs. Jacob’s striving to best Esau never stopped. His inner growth allows Jacob finally to surpass his brother.
We are all meant to be a work in progress. We are never finished. Our desire to grow and to rise toward holiness and our willing-ness to do the inner work we need to do will determine how far we can travel along the road that leads to the Divine. As Jacob found out, we are not alone on this journey. We receive help and support along God’s path. May we know that we have been given great spiritual potential for goodness and for Godliness, and may we strive like Jacob, to use these gifts, by being willing to learn and willing to grow.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Spiritual Completion & How We Grow
This week’s Torah portion is Toldot, which means offspring. It tells of Isaac and Rebecca’s family and the birth of Rebecca’s twins. The first baby to be born was covered in red hair, so they named him Esau. Rashi says everyone called him Esau because he was fully made, completed. Esau comes from the verb ASA, to do or to make, and Esau was also a doer: a man of action. Jacob was born second, grasping Esau’s heel, and he was named Yaakov, heel or that which follows. The JPS commentary also links Yaakov to the Semitic word for protection, a plea for Divine shelter and blessing. The Torah gives a brief description of the two boys. About Esau it says, Esau became one who knows trapping, a man of the field. The description for Jacob reads, and Jacob was a quiet man, abiding in tents. Not all translations say quiet. Rashi says wholesome. The Women’s Torah commentary says homespun. Another translation is mild. But the Hebrew says, Tam. Tam literally means finished, perfect, complete whole, innocent, or simple. It is the same word used for the Simple Son in the section of the Passover Hagaddah that tells of the four children, or the four sons. The simple son is the one who is Tam: whole or complete. We can see that Jacob and Esau were very different, but that each was complete in his own way. Esau is physically complete and ready for action. Jacob’s completeness is more about inner resources, the ability to be quietly alone, to be a thinker, the ability to meditate, the ability to be in relationship with people and not only with things; but also he is a planner and a schemer. Neither boy had it all, but each was described as being complete. Their completeness brings us back to a verse in B’reisheet: “The heavens and the earth were finished and all their array. By the seventh day God completed the work which God had done, and abstained on the seventh day from all the work which God had done. God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because on it God abstained from all the work which God created to make.” The verb, to make, Laasot, is puzzling. The end of the quotation should say, that God Made. To make, points us into the future. From this our sages derive the principle of Shutfei Elohim, being in partnership with God. My teacher, Rabbi Gelberman expressed it this way: God said, nothing I do anymore will be done alone. From now on we will finish the work of creation together. And this is precisely the case for Jacob and Esau, and also for us. We are born perfect and complete, just as creation was perfect and complete after the sixth day of creation. But we are also incomplete. The S’fat Emet expresses this in another way: “All things are brought into being by God. But the point is hidden and we have to expand it. This depends upon the point within us, for the more we expand our own souls, the more God is revealed to us in every place.” We are meant to be a work in progress that we, ourselves are bringing to completeness with our Divine partner. Or rather, that God is bringing to completeness with us as a willing or unwilling partner. Jacob and Esau are again instructive. As young men, their lack of a trusting, loving relationship is obvious. Esau’s anger and hostility toward Jacob for stealing the blessing and Jacob’s scheming, manipulative nature, his willingness to trick his way through life and run away from his problems repulse us. But their actions should give us great hope. Who of us doesn’t cringe at things we have done when we were younger, or even last year? If Jacob and Esau can become holy, so can we. As middle aged men, in next week’s Torah portion, Jacob and Esau have left their infantile selves, having done the inner work that allows them to express their love for each other and to see Divinity in each other’s faces, reestablishing their deep bond of understanding and caring for each other. We, too, are being led on a path of spiritual growth and development. Just as we have an innate program of physical development that unfold in our bodies, so we have an innate program of spiritual development that unfold in our souls. The events of our lives, our choices, and our feelings about our choices and those events are the engine which propels our growth. Each experience is an opportunity or test for us to choose with love, caring, and generosity. Each choice comes with the feedback of our feelings about how we have used the gift of free will. This is the creation of new Torah within us every day. This is how God communicates with us. Each new day is an opportunity to triumph over our yesterday’s selves. We may lose the contest numerous times before we are ready to advance. But we will surely advance, for we are being led by the Eternal One toward perfection, wholeness and the spiritual simplicity of pure love. Flawed as we are, Jacob and Esau teach us that each of us can attain great spiritual heights. Our sages said, “The offspring of the righteous are good deeds.” May we participate eagerly and fully in our growth toward righteousness, and may all our choices be deeds and words and thoughts of holiness and love.
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