Seeing the Divine

This week’s Torah portion is Vayishlach, which means and he sent. Jacob, with his wives and children, is very relieved to have left his father-in-Law Laban, after having worked for Laban 20 years. Jacob is on his way back to Canaan, only to have to confront his twin brother Esau, who he wronged all those years ago. He sends messengers ahead, who report back that Esau is on his way to meet him with a force of 400 men. Afraid of a battle, he divides his camp in two, prays to God for rescue, and sends Esau presents. The night before the confrontation, the text tells us, “Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.” Neither one could overpower the other. Jacob receives a wound: the temporary dislocation of his hip; and a name change: Israel, one who wrestles with God, as the man says, “for you have striven with the Divine and with man and have overcome.” Jacob asks for and receives a blessing, after which he meets Esau in peace, and is able to say to him, “If I have now found favor in your eyes, then accept my tribute from me inasmuch as I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of a Divine being, and you were appeased by me.” Jacob leaves and subsequently, arrives, we are told, “intact” in Canaan.

This encounter raises many questions. Who was the man? Who won the match? What was won and what was lost? One thing seems certain: that Jacob was sent this contest just at the time he needed it. It was the first time in his life he could not trick his way out of a difficult situation nor could he run away. His struggle then, was with his own integrity: an engagement to find his true self. One of my favorite sages, called the S’fat Emet wrote, “God’s glory can’t be revealed in this world so long as Amalek exists (P. 49).” The Amalekites attacked us just as we were coming out of Egypt and victimized the weak, the ill, the very young, and the very old. Amalek represents causeless hatred, cowardice, and all the qualities within us that are less worthy: what I call, those corners of our personality we don’t bother to sweep, and that Carl Jung referred to as the Shadow.

Perhaps the man Jacob wrestled with was an angel who represented his Shadow – his inner crummy-ness. We are told by the text that he overcame. Just by engaging himself and being willing to grow, he won. Although he experienced the pain of his dislocated hip, he requested and received a blessing. Rashi says it was a blessing he earned and not one he stole, it being received not through treachery and deceit, but through authority. Because he was willing to stay in the conflict and do the inner work to find his pure self, he overcame; and the dawn revealed to him the Face of the Divine.

But that’s only half of the story. Rabbi Menachem Mendel, the Lubavitcher Rebbe said, “Everyone is a shaliach, an agent of God...Our mission includes the empowerment of others.” The proof of Jacob’s growth was not only his bringing himself to meet Esau, but his ability to see the Divine in Esau’s face: seeing God in his worst enemy, who was also his brother. After his struggles brought him the inner peace he sought, he was able to bring that harmony and contentment to his relationship with Esau. His struggles were private. They were real, as evidenced by the wound. His pain was hidden, but the peace he achieved was revealed: in his enhanced ability to give and receive love.

This is the model of growth done correctly: by engaging ourselves, which is always an equal contest, we can bring the inner Divinity we share to others. Once we find the true, Divine self, our radiance can be seen reflected in the faces of those we see. We know we cannot change others: we can only change ourselves. When we do, our relationships with others are transformed. May the holy work we undertake lead us on a journey to behold our own goodness. May we encounter God’s Divinity within, and may we share that great blessing with everyone we meet.

Active Repair

This week’s Torah portion is Vayishlach, which means and he sent. Jacob, with his wives and children is very relieved to have left his father-in-Law Laban, and is on his way back to Canaan, only to have to confront his twin brother Esau. Jacob sent malachim, angels or messengers, ahead of him to try to gauge what kind of reception he might encounter from the brother who wanted to kill him 20 years before. Jacob finds out that Esau is on his way to meet him with 400 men. It does not sound good. This is one of my very favorite Torah portions, containing so many vital teachings. Tonight I’d like to focus on the beginning of this portion, which reads, “Then Jacob sent angels ahead of him to Esau his brother.” After finding out about the 400 men, Jacob takes several further actions. He divided his family and possessions into two camps, for safety. He prayed to God, reminding God of the promise that Jacob would be protected. He prepared a large gift of tribute from his flock and herds and sent it to Esau, perhaps in admission of guilt over his actions of so many years before. He instructed his servants to be very polite and gracious to Esau, and he also, when the opportunity was given to him, engaged himself, wrestling, perhaps with an angel, or also with his own integrity, his fears, and his past actions. This is what I’d like to call active repair. The Apter Rebbe, Abraham Joshua Heschl of Apt, wrote, “His actions, he knew, would leave an impression on the physical world.”
When I see someone who is otherwise healthy, but has hurt their arm and it’s in a sling, or broken their foot and it’s in a soft cast, I say to myself, being very careful not to judge anyone, “just because we are human.” The Torah portion, Noah, teaches us that our sins have to be expiated and mopped up, so to speak, in the course of our lives; or the world would get worse and worse, not better and better. Just because we are human, we make mistakes. We do the wrong thing. Or we are unkind, doing the right thing but not with enough love and patience. We let opportunities slip past us. Sometimes we are tired or hungry, and we are just not up to the task. So our sins, omissions, and mistakes pile up for a time. But then the slate has to be wiped clean and we have to pay for our mistakes and be cleansed. So perhaps we have a small accident or other tiny, we hope, misfortune. But Jacob shows us another possibility: Active Repair. It’s not as good as not making mistakes in the first place, but it helps. Rabbi Elimelech wrote that “Our prayers and holy words ascend upward and these are called Angels.” Martin Buber has also written about the Chassidic tradition, which teaches that our actions produce energies or angels. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov also taught, If we can damage, we can also repair. We can atone for an offense and try to do as much good as we can, to make it better. And it does, as the Apter Rebbe teaches, make a difference in the physical world. We can apologize. We can find a way to give. And since we are all connected to each other and God, and all existence is One, giving to anyone helps. We can give love, we can help another person, we can make a donation; we can be there for someone. We can also pray: admit to God that we know we did something wrong, and then make a decision to do better next time. We can face ourselves and wrestle down our less than worthy impulses; and by falling down emerge better than we were before the mistakes. As the Chassidic masters and our teacher Rabbi Gelberman taught, we are God’s partners. We are meant to be co-creators of a peaceful world and God wants us to continue to improve creation. This goes as well for our own lives. By our free will we are given the ability to fix what we have broken. We don’t have to passively wait for the next difficulty to arise, for the next small disaster. We can make changes in the Universe, just like the Tzaddikim, the holy, righteous teachers of old. We ourselves have great power to create wonderful angels: angels of beauty and goodness, energies of healing and repair for ourselves and those who we touch. Not only can we fall down, but we can rise up, and take a small part of the world with us.