Receiving What You Want

This week’s Torah portion is Vayechi, which means, and he lived. Jacob has come to live in Egypt with his family. He is very elderly and asks Joseph to bury him in Canaan. He adopts Joseph’s two sons as his own and blesses them. Feeling that he is about to die, he calls all his sons to gather for a prophecy and a blessing. Then, having said everything he wanted to say to them, he lays back and dies. After they return from burying him in Canaan, Joseph’s brothers fear that Joseph will take revenge, and they lie to him. Joseph sees through their scheme and reassures them that he has forgiven them. With Joseph’s death, the book of Genesis comes to a close.
There are two incidents in this portion where someone wants something that they are not granted. First, Joseph is displeased that his father blesses Ephraim, the younger son, with a greater blessing than Manasseh, the older son. Later, Reuben, the eldest, is passed over for the leadership of the family. The sages taught that we should have faith that what we are supposed to receive, we will receive. And one of the Chassidic masters, the Rebbe of Lechen specifically said, “Jacob blessed Joseph’s children that they ought to bless and thank God for today and never worry about the morrow.”
In assembling all his sons, Jacob avoids the mistake his father made: only blessing the firstborn. Jacob tells all the sons who will assume the leadership of the family and explains his reasons. He begins with the eldest and says: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my strength and my initial vigor. Greater by rank and greater by might. Water like impetuosity; do not take more, because you mounted your father’s bed; then you desecrated the one who ascended my couch.” Reuben is disqualified because he had sexual relations with Bilhah, his stepmother and also because Jacob feels he is temperamentally unsuited for the leadership role. Some commentators have suggested that by laying with Bilhah, he was trying to supplant his father, laying claim to his father’s power and leadership.
It is one thing to work for what we want to achieve and try to live up to our aspirations and goals; and it is something very different to force God and the Universe to conform to our will or to take something that is denied to us. Rabbi Gelberman was quoted in a very beautiful presentation at a Yoga retreat, where he spoke about achieving holiness and wholeness (The Full Chair, Vol. II). As he did so often, he gave meanings to the letters of words. The word LIFE he interpreted two ways: first, for someone with a big ego, little faith, and not much joy, and second, for someone who is joyous, ready to embrace life, has faith, and whose ego is not so inflated. For the second person, the L stands for Love. Rabbi Gelberman says: now the i in there is a little i: secure, at peace. He doesn’t talk about himself: he is included in everybody….he knows who he is. His i is a part of the overall I.” This is exactly what Abraham Joshua Heschl of Apt taught: “The Tzaddik is joyous when he sees others receiving blessings in abundance.” And also there is a Taoist teaching that is just the same: Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss. Harry Ellison carries this one on his list of affirmations in his pocket. What these teachings try to tell us is that by finding our attachment to the Source of Life, we can relax and stop straining to outdo each other. We can live cooperatively and not competitively. When we realize the truth of our connection to the Wellspring of Life and each other, then we can have confidence that by striving to live from that place of wisdom, we will be taken care of. We don’t have to worry about a lack or about someone else getting what we want. There is more than enough for each of us. Not that we should not make any effort. We should make every effort, but effort of the right kind: the effort to love more fully. The effort that the S’fat Emet calls, arousing the life force through desire,” and the effort to attach oneself to the “Source of Life” through the personal struggle to improve in our thoughts and behavior toward others; the effort to trust that God will take care of us if we do our part. In the rest of the word, LIFE, the f stands for freedom; and I would like to suggest that knowing the truth of our connection and Oneness allows us to have the understanding to be truly free: to choose for each other and not just for ourselves: to choose for the Whole, all of life, and not just the small part, which is me as an individual. Then we participate in a life of giving; and from that generosity, we receive whatever we need; maybe not whatever we want, but what we need. The last letter of Life is E: to be excited. When we love and are secure and are free, then we become eager to be of help, eager to connect with others, eager to fill the little gaps of life, to make the world more whole. Then we live not just for our own sake, but for a larger purpose: to express the goodness and generosity that is within life and within us. Then we are most fully alive. May we accept the gifts we are given, and be glad for those who receive their gifts. May we dwell in security, knowing that because we are attached to the Source of Goodness and Blessing, that goodness and blessing will surely come to us.

It's Not About Sin: Jewish Week Article Unabridged 10/21/2011

The story of Adam and Eve is laden by centuries of commentary. But what is it really about? We are told that Adam and Eve first acquire language (Genesis 2:20) and then form the first marriage (2:24). But they lacked one thing more for the establishment of civilization: consciousness. The allegory of the Tree of Good and Evil relates how Adam and Eve become fully conscious. God has forbidden them to eat the fruit of the tree. The serpent then speaks to Eve, telling her that if she eats the fruit, “You will not surely die, for God knows that on the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and bad (3:4).” Eve then evaluates this piece of information. She looks at the tree and its fruit, using her senses and intelligence to decide whether this information is correct. And then she decides that this alternative source of information can be trusted. She acts, eating the fruit, and giving the man some too. They then become fully conscious, making aprons to cover their nakedness. God, of course, has been watching; and for their disobedience, the man, the woman, and the serpent receive “punishments.” But are they really punishments?
Eve will bear children in pain. This is because, being conscious, humans can imagine what the future may bring. Fear has now come into the world. Animals have no smart phones or calendars. They can’t plan for or imagine what might happen if they give birth, go for surgery, or take a flight to Hawaii. Because of Eve’s decision, women due to have babies know that it will hurt and anticipate their pain. But wait! Before Eve receives her “punishment,” fear has already come into the world, just from having left the Animal State. Adam has already said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I am naked, so I hid (3:10). From this we see that consciousness can’t exist without fear. It’s an either-or proposition.
Adam’s “punishment” is that he has to work for a living, unlike the animals, whose food is provided by God. We might think that we’d prefer a world in which we don’t have to get up each morning and go to work. But we know it would be perfectly boring. And would we ever exchange the great gifts of being fully human: the ability to grow intellectually, spiritually, and morally, to be all that we can be? Would we ever give up Art, Science, Philosophy, Music, learning, beauty, and human achievement to return to the Animal State? Surely not.
The serpent’s “punishment” is to be despised. Who or what might the snake represent? The serpent is an alternative source of knowledge. Perhaps it is that non-intellectual, deeper knowing that some call “women’s intuition.” In our scientific society, non-intellectual sources of information are generally disparaged. In the story, the serpent’s information is, in fact, correct. The Chassidic Masters teach: everything is God. If so, the serpent is God too! Why would God ask Eve to go against a direct command? Perhaps God wants Adam and Eve to take responsibility for their decision. God has clearly planned for humanity to become conscious, but only if we agree to take responsibility for our choice. In effect, God is saying, don’t kvetch if you have to work for a living. Don’t complain that there is fear in the world. You chose it. And here is a detail that is often overlooked: God commanded us not to eat the fruit before we became fully conscious: before we knew right from wrong. In a certain sense, we can’t be held fully culpable for eating the fruit. However, God made sure that we could take responsibility for our choice.
Thank God that Eve ate the fruit! We owe her a great debt. We couldn’t be simultaneously in Gan Eden - the Animal State – and be fully, gloriously human. As soon as we became conscious, we had already left the Garden. But far from being angry, God gives the humans the gift of a suit of clothes and bars the way back into the Garden, sending us the important message that the way to experience re-union with God is never to go back to an imagined, idyllic past, but always forward, stepping eagerly into life, taking responsibility for our choices, traveling on that wondrous human path that leads back to God. Barring the way back into the garden describes the “hole” all of us human beings experience in our hearts: that feeling that we used to be smarter, happier, and more whole. The feeling that something is missing within us is a precious gift from God. It propels us into life to seek that union with God that we feel we have lost; before we received the blessing of the dance of choice that we engage in with God. The Eternal has dignified us, expressing unbounded love for us, and great confidence, that we are worthy of the tremendous power of choice and the ability to be responsible for our choices. May we express our love and gratitude to God by living up to the faith God has in us, and choosing to walk that path of spiritual and moral growth that surely leads back to reunion with God.
(Note: This article was abridged for inclusion in The Jewish Week, by editors.)