Unifying All the Parts of Ourselves

This week’s Torah portion is Vayechi, which means, and he lived. Jacob and his family are living in Egypt. He is nearly blind and near death. He calls his son Joseph to ask him to bury him in Canaan, in Eretz Israel. He then adopts Joseph’s sons, Menashe and Ephraim, adding them to the tribes of Israel, and blesses them. Later, on his deathbed, he assembles his family and chooses a leader, and then dies. At the end of the portion, Joseph, having assured his brothers of his complete forgiveness, also dies.

The Torah tells us that something strange occurred when Jacob blessed his grandsons. It says, “Joseph took the two of them, Ephraim with his right hand to Israel’s left and Menashe with his left hand to Israel’s right and he drew close to him But Israel extended his right hand and laid it on Ephraim’s head, though he was the younger and his left hand on Menashe’s head. He moved his hands with intelligence for Menashe was the firstborn. ” (Gen. 48:13-14) Joseph objects but Jacob makes a prediction that Ephraim will become greater than Menashe. Then he blesses the boys, “by you shall Israel bless, saying, May God make you like Ephraim and like Menashe.” (48:20)

There is a long tradition in Judaism that the right hand symbolizes the yetzer hatov, the good impulse, and the left hand symbolizes the yetzer hara.{And we found out a few years ago when we took a trip to the Metropolitan Museum, that this episode of Jacob blessing his grandsons was portrayed in a renaissance tapestry as a symbol of the cross!} In the Talmud the “rabbis taught, always let the left hand thrust away and the right hand draw near.”(Sotah 47a) We can see that there was a deep chasm between the right and left, the good and evil impulses, at the time of the Talmud. However in the Torah, in Deuteronomy, there is another tradition: “Serve God with all your hearts.” The Chassidic masters aligned themselves with the principle of unifying the two parts of ourselves.

Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk wrote, “Ideally, we must serve God with both inclinations.”(P140) My teacher, Rabbi Gelberman, who came out of the Chasidic Satmar lineage taught that if you cut off the evil inclination, “you end up with a one-armed man.”(Personal communication) Rabbi Gelberman had a PhD in psychology. He was a therapist as well as a rabbi. Surely he had read the teachings of Carl Jung, who dreamed about a figure he called the Shadow, describing the Shadow as, “the dark side of his being.” (P. 235, Memories, Dreams and Reflections) Jung came to believe in the necessity of the unification of the conscious and unconscious, as well as the good self and the shadow self; that there is energy in the shadow which is creative and also necessary for our growth; and that the solution to the conflict between these opposites “is felt as grace.” How does this relate to Menashe and Ephraim?

Jung’s teaching about grace is echoed by Rabbi Gunther Plaut, who wrote that, “Every blessing bestowed by a person is at the core a prayer, since it asks God to help accomplish what the person by oneself cannot. (P. 305). This acknowledges God’s presence in every human interaction. Jung felt the goodness and rightness of that harmony which is representative of God’s Oneness. This relates in another way as well. The Rebbe of Zolitz (Soul of the Torah, P. 78) said that “Jacob noticed that although he promised the younger one greatness, Ephraim did not become arrogant and Menashe did not become jealous.” There is a long tradition that Menashe and Ephraim were the first Jewish brothers who got along well, which explains why they so deserved the blessing that all children become like them.

This also teaches us a more modern approach, a more psychological approach to working with ourselves to move forward in this New Year. First, we can look for and seek out parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of and don’t really approve of; parts we may have locked away, not wanting to deal with them; parts that we hope won’t pop out unexpectedly. We can work toward accepting those parts of us that are less than charming, and even love them. Then we can use the energy and creativity in those shadow parts of ourselves, harmonizing our acceptable and less acceptable selves to make inner peace, as it is said in the Song of Songs, let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me. (SOS 2:6 & 8:3)

If we think about it, this inner conflict is also a metaphor for the parts of the human family we don’t find acceptable, and who we have to accept and love before the Messianic age of peace can arrive. Unless we become whole and at peace with ourselves, inwardly and outwardly, there is no grace, no blessing. Another detail: when Jacob stretched his right hand over to Ephraim and his left to Menashe, the left hand was on top! When we can be as happy and proud of all our energies, then we will be complete, whole, and capable of great goodness, even holiness. In this New Year, may we come to gently harmonize and accept our total selves: loving each part of us, integrating all parts into a contented whole, so that we may serve life: humanity and God, with all our energies, all our hearts.

Our Family Tradition

This week’s Torah portion is Vayechi, which means, and he lived. Jacob is about to die. He calls his son Joseph, Viceroy of Egypt, to give him final instructions about Jacob’s burial in Canaan. He adopts Joseph’s sons, Menashe and Ephraim, as his own. Later, just before he passes away, he blesses each of his 12 sons and dies quietly and peacefully, a very good death. His sons bury him and then become worried that Joseph will seek revenge for their plans to sell him over 30 years ago. Joseph forgives them completely. Later, as Joseph dies, the book of Genesis comes to a close.

The section of this portion I’d like to consider tonight is toward the beginning, where Jacob has called Joseph to speak with him. The Torah reads: “Jacob said to Joseph, El Shaddai had appeared to me in Luz in the land of Canaan and God blessed me. God said to me, Behold, I will make you fruitful and numerous and I will make you a congregation of peoples, and I will give this land to your offspring after you as an eternal holding.”(Gen. 48:3-4) In the next verse, Jacob adopts Joseph’s sons. Why is Jacob speaking to Joseph about God appearing to him? What relevance does it have to the adoption?

To answer these questions, it’s interesting to speculate about the stories told in this family. God appeared to Abraham at least six times; to Sarah and to Rebecca at least once; to Isaac more than once; and to Jacob at least twice, and perhaps four times. There was a family tradition that a personal relationship between God and man could be a normal, or at least a periodic, occurrence. Were these experiences regularly spoken about within the family? I imagine they were. What might God have wanted the members of this very special family to internalize from these stories? When Jacob speaks to Joseph, perhaps one thing Jacob wanted Joseph to do was to carry forward the personal relationship between God and human beings into the next generation of his family.

This possibility of a close relationship with God is something that we need the Torah to inform us of. Without the Torah, this possibly might not be known. We might also ask: what kind of person might Jacob have been without God’s direct and personal intervention? He began life as a manipulative person, not content with what he had, but wanting what others possessed. He had a lack of integrity and ran away from conflicts. After God’s guidance: the dream of the ladder reaching to heaven, the 20 years spent learning patience and much else from Laban’s negative example, the wrestling match with the angel; Jacob emerges as someone with great personal integrity, who faces up to confrontations; one who forgives and is grateful for what he has, valuing all his personal relationships and having learned from his and his family‘s mistakes. His closeness to God was vital to his becoming the Patriarch we revere and from whom we are descended.

There are teachings here for us as well. Like Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca and Jacob; like Moses and all the many prophets, many more than 20, like the Baal Shem Tov and many of the Rebbes who came after him in the 18th & 19th Centuries – this personal relationship with God is available to each of us. And further: God cares about each of us as God cared about Jacob. Our development, like his, is being directed, so that we can continue to grow in goodness, as he did. Jacob says to Joseph earlier in the portion: “do kindness and truth, chesed v’emet, with me.” These are our two main subject areas: kindness and truth.

Our Divine Teacher, our Divine Parent cares about us passionately; directs our studies and desires us to be in this personal relationship with God, as Moses says in Deuteronomy, for our benefit. As the secular year draws to a close and the new year begins, may we strengthen this relationship with God by applying ourselves to the study of these subjects, knowing that Goodness is working with us, as Rabbi Gelberman once wrote, on our behalf, to bring about a better us, a better year, and a better world. This is what Jacob wanted Joseph to remember and to actualize. This is our task too: to bring forth and maintain our closeness to God, which is after all, not only our birthright, but our family tradition.

Receiving What You Want

This week’s Torah portion is Vayechi, which means, and he lived. Jacob has come to live in Egypt with his family. He is very elderly and asks Joseph to bury him in Canaan. He adopts Joseph’s two sons as his own and blesses them. Feeling that he is about to die, he calls all his sons to gather for a prophecy and a blessing. Then, having said everything he wanted to say to them, he lays back and dies. After they return from burying him in Canaan, Joseph’s brothers fear that Joseph will take revenge, and they lie to him. Joseph sees through their scheme and reassures them that he has forgiven them. With Joseph’s death, the book of Genesis comes to a close.
There are two incidents in this portion where someone wants something that they are not granted. First, Joseph is displeased that his father blesses Ephraim, the younger son, with a greater blessing than Manasseh, the older son. Later, Reuben, the eldest, is passed over for the leadership of the family. The sages taught that we should have faith that what we are supposed to receive, we will receive. And one of the Chassidic masters, the Rebbe of Lechen specifically said, “Jacob blessed Joseph’s children that they ought to bless and thank God for today and never worry about the morrow.”
In assembling all his sons, Jacob avoids the mistake his father made: only blessing the firstborn. Jacob tells all the sons who will assume the leadership of the family and explains his reasons. He begins with the eldest and says: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my strength and my initial vigor. Greater by rank and greater by might. Water like impetuosity; do not take more, because you mounted your father’s bed; then you desecrated the one who ascended my couch.” Reuben is disqualified because he had sexual relations with Bilhah, his stepmother and also because Jacob feels he is temperamentally unsuited for the leadership role. Some commentators have suggested that by laying with Bilhah, he was trying to supplant his father, laying claim to his father’s power and leadership.
It is one thing to work for what we want to achieve and try to live up to our aspirations and goals; and it is something very different to force God and the Universe to conform to our will or to take something that is denied to us. Rabbi Gelberman was quoted in a very beautiful presentation at a Yoga retreat, where he spoke about achieving holiness and wholeness (The Full Chair, Vol. II). As he did so often, he gave meanings to the letters of words. The word LIFE he interpreted two ways: first, for someone with a big ego, little faith, and not much joy, and second, for someone who is joyous, ready to embrace life, has faith, and whose ego is not so inflated. For the second person, the L stands for Love. Rabbi Gelberman says: now the i in there is a little i: secure, at peace. He doesn’t talk about himself: he is included in everybody….he knows who he is. His i is a part of the overall I.” This is exactly what Abraham Joshua Heschl of Apt taught: “The Tzaddik is joyous when he sees others receiving blessings in abundance.” And also there is a Taoist teaching that is just the same: Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss. Harry Ellison carries this one on his list of affirmations in his pocket. What these teachings try to tell us is that by finding our attachment to the Source of Life, we can relax and stop straining to outdo each other. We can live cooperatively and not competitively. When we realize the truth of our connection to the Wellspring of Life and each other, then we can have confidence that by striving to live from that place of wisdom, we will be taken care of. We don’t have to worry about a lack or about someone else getting what we want. There is more than enough for each of us. Not that we should not make any effort. We should make every effort, but effort of the right kind: the effort to love more fully. The effort that the S’fat Emet calls, arousing the life force through desire,” and the effort to attach oneself to the “Source of Life” through the personal struggle to improve in our thoughts and behavior toward others; the effort to trust that God will take care of us if we do our part. In the rest of the word, LIFE, the f stands for freedom; and I would like to suggest that knowing the truth of our connection and Oneness allows us to have the understanding to be truly free: to choose for each other and not just for ourselves: to choose for the Whole, all of life, and not just the small part, which is me as an individual. Then we participate in a life of giving; and from that generosity, we receive whatever we need; maybe not whatever we want, but what we need. The last letter of Life is E: to be excited. When we love and are secure and are free, then we become eager to be of help, eager to connect with others, eager to fill the little gaps of life, to make the world more whole. Then we live not just for our own sake, but for a larger purpose: to express the goodness and generosity that is within life and within us. Then we are most fully alive. May we accept the gifts we are given, and be glad for those who receive their gifts. May we dwell in security, knowing that because we are attached to the Source of Goodness and Blessing, that goodness and blessing will surely come to us.