Toward Harmony in the Human Family

This week’s Torah portion is Vayera, containing so many things to think about: Abraham’s hospitality in receiving guests, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Sarah’s miraculous pregnancy and birth of a son, and later the near sacrifice of Isaac, saved by God, prohibiting the practice of human sacrifice for this new religion of Monotheism. For us, loving in a time of increasing acceptance of those who we perceive as the Other, people of a different ethnicity, religion, color, or cultural background, the story of the casting out of Hagar, Sarah’s handmaiden, and their son Ishmael, is deeply troubling.

God had promised Abraham children. After 10 years he has no child. Sarah generously suggests that the elderly Abraham try to have a child with Hagar. They are successful and Ishmael is born. But then, about 14 years later, Sarah conceives and gives birth to Isaac. Isaac becomes a toddler and Sarah sees Ishmael “mocking.” We don’t know what he was doing…. Whether he was being disrespectful to parents or adults, or torturing an animal, or being mean to Isaac or to another boy, or just being unbearably or obnoxiously sarcastic.But perhaps Sarah realizes that Isaac’s big brother, who will be a daily influence and who Isaac will look up to, will, in some way, corrupt baby Isaac. Sarah demands that Hagar and Ishmael be sent away. Sarah says, “Drive out this slavewoman and her son, for the son of that slavewoman shll not inherit with my son, with Isaac.

The matter greatly distressed Abraham regarding his son, so God said to Abraham, Be not distressed over the youth or your slavewoman, Whatever Sarah tells you, heed her voice since through Isaac will offspring be considered yours. Bur the son of the slavewoman as well will I make into a nation, for he is your offspring.” (Gen. 21:10-13) This is so puzzling. Why would God side with Sarah? We see this not as the freeing of a slave, but as a life-threatening abandonment of a woman and a child. Sarah frames her request in terms of inheritance, but the text implies that inheritance is not the real issue. It is the character of Ishmael that Sarah objects to. Ishmael is probably a typical teenager. Having had two teenage sons of my own, I know what a 15 year old boy is like. Even the best of them are trying at times. An interesting question is, why did God allow Sarah to see Ishmael’s objectionable behavior in that moment? Anything we see, we see for a reason. God must have wanted Ishmael sent away.

Initially, when Hagar became pregnant and began to look down on Sarah, Sarah complained to Abraham and Abraham put the matter in Sarah’s hands. Sarah dealt firmly with Hagar, and Hagar ran away. God brought Hagar back at that time. But now God causes Hagar and Ishmael to be sent away. We feel this to be an injustice. It is wrong to exclude anyone. We know that we are all one – all part of each other. I think perhaps there might be an ultimate purpose to Hagar and Ishmael being sent away.

How many of you had or have siblings? Can you remember what it was like growing up with them? You fought, made up, fought again, and became better people for it. Those conflicts served a purpose, and many, though not all, siblings go on to have deeply satisfying relationships. Here is another perspective: No one can go to college who has not completed elementary school. We can’t skip over certain life steps, certain necessary times of learning and struggle. In the same way, the human family is similar to young siblings. There is a necessary time of conflict: of learning, and of developing so that real peace can be achieved.

If we look at the time of the Torah, or the time of the Prophets, more than 2,000 years ago, the descriptions shock us. The time was more warlike, more brutal, more difficult to survive in. Our time looks more gentle, although there are still horrific wars, may they end soon. Perhaps we are on a continuum of learning how to get along with each other: how to be more peaceful human beings, how to develop real respect and even love for each other. And perhaps God knew that we could not skip the steps in between.

Yes, terrible problems have come out of the separation between the Arabs and the Jews. We have a long way to go before we as aggregate groups will be able to live peacefully. However we are learning. Perhaps we are only a third to a half of the way there. But neither are we at the place, in terms of our moral state, where our ancestors were. May we understand that conflict with others is a teacher; that we have been separated so that we can come back together, in love and acceptance. Our Divine parent is watching us patiently, encouraging us to react to each other with gentleness and forbearance. May we learn and grow, becoming more peaceful, less angry, more loving, and more caring about each other, causing our Divine parent to smile.

Lessons of Hurricane Sandy

At this time of great difficulty for so many in NY, NJ, and CT, we look at the Torah with different eyes, trying to find light in the darkness, whether your darkness is physical or metaphoric, hoping to find warmth in the cold, and praying for heat and hot water in all your apartments. One lesson in this week’s portion comes from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. An obvious thing to take from it is that there was a reason for the destruction. People were choosing the wrong things, from a moral standpoint.

For us, we know that our choices, environmentally speaking, haven’t always been great, but they haven’t been terrible either. Humans began by burning wood for warmth. Then we moved on to coal, then oil and gas. Possibly our worst choice is bio-fuels, in which not only oil and gas, in the form of farm machinery & pesticides, but also good farmland is used to produce grain, which, by using even more oil and gas, is turned into ethanol, which is then burned. Hurricane Sandy sent a message to the seat of financial power. The climate is changing because we have changed it. Our choices weren’t bad. Perhaps we have been a little self-indulgent, energy-wise. Our choices weren’t necessarily wrong: we had to heat our homes and, for those who live outside a large city, drive to a place of employment. Admittedly, we have taken the lazy way out. Some have become used to making the easy money. We have not planned for the future or supported research and development leading to new forms of energy. We can now see that the old choices are no longer good ones. They don’t work anymore. God, or if you like, the Universe, is asking us to move on. This happens to us in every aspect of life. We are asked to choose a new way. The new way we must choose is very simple to state, but will be challenging to implement. We have to let the sun power our world. We can’t burn things anymore. The sun’s energy powers the wind and the waves. We can use wind and wave power, solar power, and renewable hydroelectric power if we decide to put our minds to it. We’ll figure out the storage issues. We may even figure out nuclear fusion (fission is too dangerous and too radioactively polluting). We could even use the millions of feet walking along New York City’s sidewalks for part of our power needs.

There is one more lesson from Vayera that I’d like to address. It’s about caring. The Torah says, referring to Abraham, And he lifted his eyes and looked, and three men stood by him; and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed to the ground, And said, My Lord, if now I have found favor in your sight, pass not away, from your servant; Let a little water, be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree; And I will fetch a morsel of bread, to comfort your hearts; after that you shall pass on; seeing that you have come to your servant. And they said, do so, as you have said. And Abraham hurried to the tent to Sarah, and said, Hurry, three measures of fine meal, knead, and make cakes. And Abraham ran to the herd, and fetched a calf tender and good, and gave it to a young man; who hurried to prepare it. And he took cream and milk, and the calf which he had prepared, and set it before them; and he stood over them by the tree, and they ate.(18:2-8)

Abraham truly cared about the three travelers who appeared at his door. He hurried to help them, to feed them, to show them courtesy and respect, and to give them his very best. He didn’t know they were angels until later. The phrase, “He stood over them,” is interesting and quite telling. Angels receive their orders from God. One understanding of angels is that they are simply energies, in any form, sent to accomplish certain acts. When a caring, generous impulse comes from us, and when we act upon it, we stand above the angels. That’s the gift that dwells within free will. Abraham honored the Godliness in the angels before he knew them to be Divine. He tried to help them and care for them simply because he thought they were human. May all the love and generosity we show to each other during these trying times be noticed and blessed. May we be even more sincerely caring than we have been before. The Chassidic masters taught: the path to God leads through men. May we help each other in our time of need, acting as angels for each other, and being even higher than that: people who care, standing heads and shoulders above the angels.

Receiving by Giving

This week’s Torah portion, Vayera, which means, and He appeared, continues the saga of Abraham and Sarah. Abraham greets three travelers who come to tell Sarah that she will have a child. Abraham hears of the coming destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and pleads for the rescue of the righteous. Lot, Abraham’s nephew who lives in Sodom, receives the angelic visitors; and he and his family are saved. Sarah gives birth to Isaac in great joy, Hagar and her son Ishmael are sent away, but are protected by God, and Abraham is tested when God asks him to sacrifice Isaac. Since the end of this portion is read on Rosh Hashanah, I’d like to look at something which comes into focus at the beginning of Vayera. Abraham has been circumcised. By tradition he is sitting healing just inside the entrance to his tent when he sees three dusty travelers. The Torah says, He saw and he ran to greet them and bowed toward the ground.” The he requested that they accept his offer of a meal and water for washing, to which they agree. The Torah says, Abraham rushed to the tent and said, Hurry! To Sarah, asking her to make fine cakes for them. Then it says Abraham ran to the herd. He selected a choice calf and saw that it was prepared with cream and milk. Then he served his guests and watched as they ate. The Talmud says about this: Rab Judah said in Rab's name: “Hospitality to travelers is greater than welcoming the Divine Presence. Shabbat 127a. And the Midrash says: Since the day when the Holy One, blessed be He, created you, you were destined to come to me. This indicates that it’s possible our purpose here on earth is to give. The story about Abraham can be seen in the larger context of his personality. Six more episodes from his life illustrate the kind of person he was. In last week’s portion, Lech Lecha, he leaves his home in Mesopotamia at God’s request, showing a lack of attachment to his property and life there. Second, He and Lot initially travel together, but later they acquire more livestock and can’t graze them in the same vicinity. Abraham, as head of the family, could choose the best land, but gives Lot his choice and takes what is left. Third, When Lot is captured in battle, Abraham goes to rescue him. He and his allies are victorious. Abraham gives away a tenth of the spoils of war to a local priest of God and then refuses any of his own share, giving all the captured possessions to his allies. About this Midrash says, R. Judah said in R. Nehorai's name: In virtue of that blessing the three great pillars of the world, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, enjoyed prosperity. In the case of Abraham it is written, And God blessed Abraham in all things (Genesis Raba XXIV, 1).Further, the Zohar says that Abraham forged a link to the upper world, allowing blessings to flow from below to above. Fourth, When there is a controversy about the ownership of well, Abraham gives Abimelech, the local chieftain, a gift of animals to placate him, even through Abraham is the injured party. Fifth, When asked by Sarah to give up his son Ishmael, Abraham is upset, but does so when God asks him to. Sixth, He even brings Isaac up to a mountain as a sacrifice, in my opinion, knowing that God with whom he has a close and trusting relationship, and who promised him descendants through Isaac, will somehow protect them both. Why does the Torah think it is important for us to know how generous Abraham was? We know that being a giving person is a good thing because it makes us feel good, and we are connected on a feeling level with each other and God; and it’s nice that the Patriarch of our religion was a generous person; but I believe that a deeper lesson is being taught here, perhaps one of the underlying principles by which the universe is structured. If God is one, then as I’ve come to understand, the moral and physical universes are one; they’re inseparable as we, too, as people are one, and inseparable with The Divine. So what we choose to do morally and ethically influences the outcomes of our lives. We know that no one will love us if we are mean, disagreeable, or continually difficult and stand offish. We have to give and be loving to receive love. But what is true in the realm of love is also true in every other area and aspect of the universe. And I think this is what all the accounts of Abraham’s generosity illustrate. Whatever we want to receive comes only to us through giving. Whether love or material things, we can only receive by first giving. This concept seems simple, but has wide implications. Unless our hearts are open, few blessings can come to us. The Zohar says, as the wicked upset the world and cause blessing to be withheld, so the righteous bring blessing to the world and for their sakes all its inhabitants are blessed…. The same principle applies to ones who seek to be attached to the sacred spirit on high. For it is by their acts, by their words, and by their fervency and devotion that they can draw to themselves that spirit from on high. Whether love or material things, we can only receive by first giving. Whether we wish to have spiritual attainment, intellectual growth, or material well being, what we work for or contribute decides what we will be able to receive. From this we can see that giving is its own special spiritual path.//This portion also speaks of improper giving. Lot, in an attempt to placate the townspeople of Sodom, and to observe the law of hospitality, offers his two virgin daughters to them, in place of his two guests. But Lot has offered that which is not his to give. His daughters are prevented from being given to the mob by the angel guests, but later the daughters’ incest with Lot testifies that, unlike Judah and Moses, who offer themselves in place of others, that Lot’s giving was unethical and clearly wrong. Abraham gave of his own possessions. The Chassidic Rabbi Yaakov Josef of Polnoye said, “that it is the sign of a truly righteous person that they are always ‘at the entrance’ as “Abraham was, aware that they have much to accomplish.” Abraham ran to have the opportunity to give: to give of himself, his time, his attention, his possessions and of his love. Each time we have the chance to give, it is a great opportunity to create goodness and kindness for others and ourselves. It is through giving that blessings can flow in this world. May Abraham be our example, teaching us that a generous open trusting heart affects the entire world. May we struggle against our lesser impulses and like Abraham be givers who receive many blessings.